The conventional funeral has taken death out of the cycle of life. We’ve lost or pushed that part of our life journey to the unknown, which has created fear. Few realize that the modern funeral really began during the Civil War. The desire to bring the bodies of soldiers home gave birth to the funeral business, including turning the care of loved ones over to “professionals.” Embalming allowed the safe return of the body, and therefore provided some solace for the bereaved. However, as time passed we have lost some of the end-of-life healing and we don’t mourn our loss which prolongs our grief.Now when someone dies we give our loved one to a stranger (professional) to care for them while we try and find meaning to life. While in the past we would have washed, dressed and honored our loved one for the family and friends to come and pay their last respects, now we try to compress our grief into a short three-day funeral. As if we could possible mentally process our feeling and thoughts about the meaning of life and our loss in three days. We need to give our hearts and minds the time to really connect with the death, not rush the process.During a loss we have the opportunity to slow down and ask ourselves some deep questions about life meaning. We need to honor our personal process. If we don’t take the time to experience our loss, we stay numb, depressed and lose our own life energy. Sometimes we don’t even recognize what has become the shadow of depression in our life caused by unfinished mourning after a death.During the death process we really get to appreciate life as part of our natural life cycle. In the conventional funeral we are so deep in our grief and shock; we may not realize we have more options and instead make choices that we might later regret. For example, many people don’t know embalming isn’t required for a conventional funeral by law.Sometimes we need to call on the professional funeral director to move the body to the final resting place, as well as to have him or her assist us in areas of care that you aren’t able to give. For example, if you choose to have the deceased cremated, you need a professional to do this job and return the ashes to you. However, You should know that funeral homes charge a standard fee of up to $2000 to respond to an initial request and for consultations as to arrangements. This does not include any services or materials such as preparation of body, viewing or storage of the departed. You can negotiate a per service arrangement but this should be done before the time of death.You can choose to handle all the arrangements yourself. If you do, it is critical that you are adequately prepared for this ahead of time. You will want help with transportation, paperwork or other aspects of this process. The home funeral empowers family and friends through participation to create the space to slow down, mourn the death and celebrate the unique personality of their loved one.quotes from Center of Loss by Alan Wolfelt Ph D |
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Guided Home Funerals LLC Consultant for family directed funerals Environmentally, Economically and Emotionally Healing |
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